Chapter III: An Exercise

Summary:

This section began with an exercise to finally apply all the concepts we’ve been learning about: choose and play with options, be in process, simply notice, awareness, and relax. During this exercise one is supposed to observe their thoughts and feelings and jot down a couple words or symbols for reminders of any memories they could experience. There was a section provided in the book specifically for this purpose. The author stresses to just pay attention and not try to objectively view these observations or justify them. The questions provided in the book to consider were subjects like love expression, physical touches like a hug and a kids, what causes physical pain, how family decisions are made, expressions of sadness, expression of joy, trust, honesty, how men and women are, how smart you are, etc. All these thoughts should be considered while just lying in your home. Participating in this exercise and reviewing the responses after the exercise is complete can help you determine where you are today. The following questions are ones to answer after you have reviewed your responses to the exercise: Does it have value in your life today? Who are you today? Is this learning something that you have altered over time? Is this learning something to reconsider?

The rest of the day will be an ongoing opportunity to observe you and continue to practice the concepts. Remember to notice how you respond to feeling and to people. Are you operating out of habit? Don’t forget to recognize that your gremlin is still present and most likely observing the concepts you are practicing. And regardless, your habits are there for a reason, because of some past experience, so do not feel horrible for having them and feel as if you need to do away with them immediately. You don’t have to modify all of your habits.

This is when your gremlin will try to convince you that habits are essential to your well-being. Be able to differentiate between the gremlin’s “what is so” and what is “make-believe”. Do not fight with your gremlin, just be aware, simply notice, and listen to his chatter. If you fight with your gremlin the chances of you losing is great. And you can only tame your gremlin in reality, not in duality.

Also, after participating in the exercise, the rest of the day you will be more sensitive to your environment and the people around you, your physical body, and your ability to love, perceive, problem solve, create, and even fight. You will be experiencing life at your full potential and completely enjoying life.

Tips for avoiding or defeating your gremlin would be to notice the tension and your responses to these emotions. Is your neck tense? Are you breathing shallow? There might be physical responses that would be easy to observe. Take notes. If your gremlin is busy at work with you, you will feel self-righteous, defensive, greedy, and even evil. Your gremlin will make your attitude towards others unhealthy; like you could be defensive or manipulative. The only true solution to this is becoming grounded and be observant.

ANALYSIS:

The author continues to repeat himself after the exercise which appears to be very beneficial because he is literally writing a step by step process; opposed to just supplying the reader with the tools and saying “Go ahead, go apply this to life!” His approach is spoon feeding the reader everything, but ideal for his intentions of this book in the first place. It is meant to entertain the reader and spell out how to solve their issues. Some concepts need to be repeated for the stage which one is experiencing and the intense emotions that could be present. Even the space provided in the book to take notes is a fool-proof guide to managing ones negative self-talk and eventually becoming able to live life enjoyably.

Response:

At first I thought the exercise idea was lame and that I was too good for it. Haha. But after reading it I realized the thoughts the author wants you to ponder are very beneficial and I did learn a lot about myself and the origination of some of my issues. My dad always curses intensely over silly instances like split coffee and therefore I taught myself not to express anger often if at all. When I am mad, I shut down and zone out. My mom tells life-crisis stories with tears in her eyes, in a very uncomfortable manner, and therefore I will talk about my serious issues in a causal-no-eye-contact manner. And lastly, when I am upset, like crying, worrying over school, anxious for a big event, my stomach refuses to hold anything down or let me eat. One of the most dramatic relationships I’ve ever been in is where we fought all the time and I was constantly upset and therefore I lost a lot of weight.

Personally, I am still learning a lot from this book but the repeating is kind of getting annoying. I am actually beginning to prefer the expert style of book where I may get a bunch of terms thrown at me that I won’t know but at least it will be less repetitive.